If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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