I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
