I need help removing her.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
