So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
