so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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