Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so let's talk penis.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
