11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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