You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
