I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
