i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize