WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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