Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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