And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
