They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
