I'm going to rape someone's good day.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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