I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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