Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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