Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
