idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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