my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
