Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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