I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i think my cat just said my name.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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