but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
