no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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