The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
