I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
