I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
