Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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