I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
