What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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