there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
