There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
