Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
