u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
