What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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