i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
