i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
