Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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