I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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