Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize