I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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