thus making me awesome and them whores
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
