Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wear drunk well.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
