She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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