SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
