she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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