there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
