Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
