No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm like, not good at living.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
