Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
