Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
