11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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