I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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