pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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