I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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