His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? đđ
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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