Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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