My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize