I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
