You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
