If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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