she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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