my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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