well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
