Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
