you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize