I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
