i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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