People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
