how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
