Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
