You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
