but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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